Share 2 meals a week with others

Why eating together matters

Social connection is closely tied to health. A large review of 148 studies, covering more than 300,000 people, found that those with stronger social relationships had about 50% higher odds of survival over the study periods. The size of that link was similar to well-known risks such as smoking. These studies followed people over time, so they show a link and cannot prove cause.

Meals are one of the easiest places to build those ties, because you already eat several times a day. Busy weeks often mean lunch at a desk and dinner with a phone in hand. The simple idea here is same table, same days each week, so connection rides along with meals you were going to eat anyway.

Why a shared table brings people closer

The psychologist Robin Dunbar has argued that eating together is one of the oldest ways humans bond. A shared table gives people a reason to sit down, stay a while and talk. Conversation, stories and laughter tend to follow without much effort. Dunbar suggests that laughing and eating together may involve the brain's endorphin system, which is linked to bonding, though this idea is still being tested.

What happens at the table matters too. In a field experiment, about 300 people went out for a meal with friends or family. Those asked to keep their phones on the table felt more distracted and enjoyed the time a little less than those who put their phones away. The difference was modest, and it suggests company counts for more when it gets your attention.

What the research found

In a survey of about 2,000 adults in the UK, Dunbar looked at how often people ate with others. People who shared meals more often were more likely to say they felt happy and satisfied with life. They also tended to trust others more, feel more involved in their local community and report more close friends. The link held for evening meals with family and friends as well as other shared meals.

There is a clear limit here. The survey measured people at one point in time, so it cannot show that shared meals caused these benefits. Happier, more sociable people may simply eat with others more often. No study has pinned down an ideal number of shared meals, and breakfast, lunch and dinner all seem to count. Treat your weekly target as a reachable starting point you can build on.

Fitting shared meals into your week

The easiest shared meals are the ones that repeat. A standing lunch with a coworker every Tuesday, or a Friday dinner with your housemate, removes the need to plan from scratch. Once your week runs on same table, same days each week, your calendar does most of the remembering. One standing lunch a week already adds up to about 50 shared meals over a year. Before long, you become someone who always has lunch with a friend on Tuesdays.

Choose people who are already nearby, such as a neighbor, a family member or a friend from work. Keep the food simple so hosting never becomes the obstacle; nobody has ever turned down an invitation because the pasta was plain. On a hard week, a short lunch with one person still counts, and a cancelled meal can move to another day. If loneliness or low mood stays with you for weeks despite reaching out, talk to a doctor or a counselor. Which meal this week could you share with someone who is already nearby?

References

• Holt-Lunstad, J., et al. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316. doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316
• Dunbar, R. I. M. (2017). Breaking bread: The functions of social eating. Adaptive Human Behavior and Physiology, 3(3), 198-211. doi.org/10.1007/s40750-017-0061-4
• Dwyer, R. J., et al. (2018). Smartphone use undermines enjoyment of face-to-face social interactions. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 78, 233-239. doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2017.10.007