Hold a 20-second hug each day

Why a hug is worth the time

Touch is one of the oldest ways people comfort each other. On full days, it is easy to swap it for a quick wave or a message from the next room. Studies of couples link warm contact with a partner to smaller rises in blood pressure and heart rate under stress. One slow hug, every day, keeps that contact in your routine for free.

A hug held long enough to notice also gives you both a short pause. That pause can make it easier to reconnect after a long day or a tense conversation.

Why 20 seconds and not a quick pat

A quick pat on the back is often over before you register it. Holding on for about 20 seconds gives you time to settle in and breathe out. The number comes from the hug used in one well-known experiment, and no study has compared it with shorter or longer hugs. So treat 20 seconds as a sensible target rather than a magic line, and know that piling on more hugs has not been shown to work better.

Who you hug matters. The research looked at partners and people in close relationships, not strangers or acquaintances. A hug only helps when both people want it, so choose someone you feel at ease with and check that they feel the same.

What the research found

In a study by researchers in North Carolina, couples held hands for 10 minutes while watching a romantic video, then shared a 20-second hug. During a stressful public speaking task afterwards, they had smaller rises in blood pressure and heart rate than people who had rested alone. A related study of 59 women found that those reporting more frequent partner hugs tended to have higher oxytocin and lower resting blood pressure. Oxytocin is a hormone released during warm social contact.

A larger study followed 404 healthy adults who reported their hugs each evening for two weeks before being exposed to a cold virus. Hugs appeared to explain about a third of the protective link between feeling supported and lower infection risk. Infected people who were hugged more often tended to have milder symptoms. Using the same group, researchers found that on days with an argument, people who got a hug reported a smaller dip in mood. These are mostly links and short-term effects in fairly small groups, and none tested a daily hug over months.

Making it stick

Tie the hug to a moment that already happens, like getting home in the evening. When you walk in and see your partner, child or housemate, put your bag down first, because car keys pressed into someone's back relax nobody. Take four slow breaths of about five seconds each, which adds up to 20 seconds, so you don't let go at second three out of old habit. If you live alone, a close friend or relative you see often counts too.

On a bad day, a hug of any length still counts. Over a few weeks, one slow hug, every day, becomes part of how you arrive home, and you become someone who greets the people you love with a proper hug. If you often feel low or lonely, or touch feels uncomfortable for you, a doctor or counselor can help more than a habit can. Who is the first person you'll see when you get home tomorrow?

References

• Grewen, K. M., et al. (2003). Warm partner contact is related to lower cardiovascular reactivity. Behavioral Medicine, 29(3), 123-130. doi.org/10.1080/08964280309596065
• Light, K. C., et al. (2005). More frequent partner hugs and higher oxytocin levels are linked to lower blood pressure and heart rate in premenopausal women. Biological Psychology, 69(1), 5-21. doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsycho.2004.11.002
• Cohen, S., et al. (2015). Does hugging provide stress-buffering social support? A study of susceptibility to upper respiratory infection and illness. Psychological Science, 26(2), 135-147. doi.org/10.1177/0956797614559284
• Murphy, M. L. M., et al. (2018). Receiving a hug is associated with the attenuation of negative mood that occurs on days with interpersonal conflict. PLOS ONE, 13(10), e0203522. doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0203522