Meet up with a friend once a week
People with stronger relationships had 50% better odds of being alive over about 7.5 years.
You type "we should catch up soon" under a friend's photo, mean it completely, and another month goes by. Plans that wait for a free evening tend to lose out to everything else. This habit gives friendship one fixed slot, every week, and that slot can be as small as an hour over coffee or a walk.
What it helps with
Social isolation
People with stronger relationships had 50% better odds of being alive over about 7.5 years.
Few social ties
People with a broad mix of connections, like friends, family and group activities, showed the strongest link to living longer.
Key facts
- 1A 2010 review of 148 studies found people with stronger social relationships had about 50% higher odds of survival during follow-up.
- 2In that review, the link between social ties and survival was similar in size to smoking and larger than for physical inactivity.
- 3A 2015 review of 70 studies linked social isolation to about a 29% higher risk of dying during follow-up.
- 4A 2016 review linked loneliness and isolation to about a 29% higher risk of heart disease and 32% higher risk of stroke.
- 5A 2019 study estimated people spent about 90 hours together before an acquaintance became a friend.
Why friends belong on your health list
Health advice usually focuses on food, exercise and smoking. Research suggests your relationships belong on that list too. A 2010 review led by psychologist Julianne Holt-Lunstad combined 148 studies with more than 308,000 people, followed for about 7.5 years on average. People with stronger social relationships had about 50% higher odds of being alive at the end of follow-up than people with weaker ones.
The authors compared this with familiar risks. The link was similar in size to smoking and larger than the links for physical inactivity or obesity. Friendship is no medicine, though the findings suggest time with people deserves a regular place in your week.
Why a weekly rhythm helps
Researchers think friends may help in a few ways. They can soften the effect of stress, offer practical help when things go wrong and nudge you toward healthier routines. These are proposed explanations that are still being studied. What is clearer is that friendships take time, and a 2019 study by Jeffrey Hall asked people who had recently moved or started university how many hours they had spent with new acquaintances.
| Friendship stage | Approximate hours together |
|---|---|
| Casual friend | About 50 |
| Friend | About 90 |
| Good friend | More than 200 |
An hour a week adds up to about 52 hours a year, roughly a casual friendship by these estimates. Two hours a week passes 100 hours within a year. People often ask whether weekly is really necessary. No study has found a magic frequency, so treat weekly as a steady rhythm that is easy to keep, and once a month as a fine place to start.
What the research found
A 2015 review of 70 studies, covering more than 3 million people, looked at isolation and loneliness separately. Social isolation was linked to about a 29% higher risk of dying during follow-up. Loneliness was linked to about 26%, and living alone to about 32%. A 2016 review focused on the heart and linked loneliness and isolation to about a 29% higher risk of heart disease and a 32% higher risk of stroke.
One clear limit applies to all of this. Nearly every study followed people over time, so the findings show links and cannot prove that meetups themselves lengthen life. Healthier people may simply find it easier to see friends. The studies also measured social ties broadly, so nobody has tested a weekly coffee on its own.
Making it a fixture in your week
The easiest meetups are the ones you don't plan from scratch. When your week has one fixed slot, every week, such as a Saturday morning walk or a Thursday lunch, seeing a friend becomes the default. Pairing it with something you already do, like a run, the weekly shop or a class, means it costs little extra time. Rotating between two or three friends helps too, so one cancellation (someone always has a cousin's birthday) doesn't sink the week.
On a bad week, shrink it to a 15-minute coffee or a phone call, which keeps the thread going until next time. Over a few months, you become someone who keeps Saturday mornings for the people you care about. If loneliness or low mood stays with you for weeks even when you see people, talk to a doctor or a counselor. Which friend could you message tonight about a walk this weekend?
Action steps
- 1Choose a fixed day and time. Pick one slot each week, like 10 a.m. on Saturday, and add it to your calendar as a repeating event.
- 2Message a friend to fill the slot. Suggest something simple, like a walk, coffee or a shared meal, and agree on the place before the day arrives.
- 3Shrink it on busy weeks. If an hour won't fit, swap in a 15-minute coffee or a phone call so the habit carries on.
Suggested routines
- Low daily mood
Share 2 meals a week with others
Well-being rises with each meal people share, and sharing meals is linked to more positive feelings each day.
- Low mood
Have 3 quick conversations a day
People feel happier on days they chat with more acquaintances and strangers than usual, however much time they spend with close friends.
- Feeling distant from people
Express gratitude within 24 hours
Feeling grateful for someone's thoughtful help predicts a better relationship with them a month later.
References
- Holt-Lunstad, J., et al. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316. doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316
- Holt-Lunstad, J., et al. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: A meta-analytic review. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227-237. doi.org/10.1177/1745691614568352
- Valtorta, N. K., et al. (2016). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for coronary heart disease and stroke: Systematic review and meta-analysis of longitudinal observational studies. Heart, 102(13), 1009-1016. doi.org/10.1136/heartjnl-2015-308790
- Hall, J. A. (2019). How many hours does it take to make a friend? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(4), 1278-1296. doi.org/10.1177/0265407518761225