Do one small kind thing for someone each day
Doing acts of kindness gives a small to medium boost to your own well-being.
Scrolling on a Friday evening after a long week, you meet the same advice again: you've earned it, so treat yourself. Yet in a six-week study, people who did kind things for others gained more in well-being than people who did nice things for themselves. Doing one small kind thing for someone each day takes a minute or two, and research links it to a modest lift in your own mood.
What it helps with
Low mood
Doing acts of kindness gives a small to medium boost to your own well-being.
Feeling unfulfilled
People who did kind acts for others felt more fulfilled than people who did kind things for themselves.
Key facts
- 1A 2018 review of 27 experiments found that doing acts of kindness gave a small-to-medium increase in the kind person's well-being.
- 2In a six-week study, doing kind acts for others was linked to greater gains in flourishing than doing kind things for yourself.
- 3People asked to spend $5 or $20 on someone else reported more happiness that evening than people who spent it on themselves.
- 4In the same spending experiment, whether people spent $5 or $20 made no clear difference to how happy they felt.
Why looking outward helps
When your mood dips, most advice points inward: rest, take a break, buy something nice. Research on kindness suggests that turning toward other people can help too. In experiments, people asked to do kind things for others tended to report feeling happier than people given neutral tasks. The plain idea is one small kind thing, every day. It asks for a minute, a person and a bit of attention.
What counts as a kind thing
Kind acts can be tiny. Texting a friend who had a hard week, letting someone go ahead in the queue, washing a housemate's mug or writing a two-line thank-you note all count. In the studies, people chose their own acts and aimed them at real people they could picture.
Variety may matter too. Sonja Lyubomirsky and colleagues suggested that repeating the exact same act can slide into a chore. Changing what you do, and who you do it for, may keep the habit fresh. A favor you picked because it fit the moment probably does more for you than one you tick off a list.
What the research found
A 2018 review by Oliver Curry and colleagues pooled 27 experiments. Doing acts of kindness gave a small-to-medium increase in the well-being of the person being kind. In the six-week study by Katherine Nelson and colleagues, people who did kind acts for others showed greater gains in flourishing, a measure of feeling good and functioning well, than people who treated themselves.
In a short experiment by Elizabeth Dunn and colleagues, people were handed $5 or $20 to spend by 5 p.m. Those told to spend it on someone else reported more happiness that evening, and the amount made no clear difference. On frequency, a small six-week study described by Lyubomirsky found that students who did five kind acts on one day each week reported more happiness, while students who spread them across the week did not. So more is not clearly better, and a daily act seems to count most when you notice it. The limit is plain: most of these studies were short, involved students or online volunteers, and found modest effects.
Fitting kindness into a real day
Kindness is easy to forget when it waits for a perfect opportunity. Choose a fixed moment, such as finishing breakfast, to pick one person and one small act for the day. If you finish breakfast at 7:30, you can have a name and a plan by 7:32, before the dishes are cleared. Keep a short list of ideas on your phone so you never stall. The excuse you'll hear yourself make is that you have nothing to give, and a one-line message still counts.
On a busy or low day, one small kind thing, every day, can be as short as a text sent while the kettle boils. Over a few weeks you become someone who notices the people around you. Kindness is unlikely to lift a deep or lasting low on its own, so if your mood stays low for two weeks or more, talk to a doctor. Who in your day tomorrow could use a two-minute favor?
Action steps
- 1Pick your person after breakfast. Before you leave the table, choose who you'll help today and decide to do one small kind thing for them, or for someone you meet along the way.
- 2Keep a short list of easy acts. Save five or six ideas in your phone, such as a thank-you text, a coffee, a compliment or a small chore, and switch between them through the week.
- 3Notice how it landed. In the evening, spend ten seconds recalling the one small kind thing you did and how the other person reacted, so the habit stays linked to a real moment.
Suggested routines
- Low mood
Have 3 quick conversations a day
People feel happier on days they chat with more acquaintances and strangers than usual, however much time they spend with close friends.
- Low mood
Share 1 personal win daily
Telling others about good news is linked to feeling even better, beyond the boost from the good event itself.
- Low daily mood
Share 2 meals a week with others
Well-being rises with each meal people share, and sharing meals is linked to more positive feelings each day.
References
- Curry, O. S., et al. (2018). Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 76, 320-329. doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2018.02.014
- Nelson, S. K., et al. (2016). Do unto others or treat yourself? The effects of prosocial and self-focused behavior on psychological flourishing. Emotion, 16(6), 850-861. doi.org/10.1037/emo0000178
- Dunn, E. W., et al. (2008). Spending money on others promotes happiness. Science, 319(5870), 1687-1688. doi.org/10.1126/science.1150952
- Lyubomirsky, S., et al. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111-131. doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.9.2.111